I always believed that when I found a great job and a man who loved me I would finally feel complete and there would suddenly be this sense of wholeness. When I got what I asked for it didn’t take long for that feeling of “not settled” to kick in. It always felt like something was missing, and at one point I realized this sense of home I yearned for was never going to come from outside of myself. I needed to cultivate it within.
After 4 1/2 years in New York I left everything, moved to Toronto to study nutritional medicine and decided not to have intercourse with anyone unless I thought he was going to be the father of my child. Did you know that women take on the energy of their sexual partners and can hold it in their womb for up to 7 years? I wanted to start a family soon and was determined to grow my child in a womb that only carried the energy of myself and its father. I was devouring books on sacred sexuality, womb wisdom, and practicing the breath work, ceremonies and rituals that came with them. I had no idea at the time what I was opening myself to.
Until then my focus had been women’s sexuality. In New York I studied Yoni massage, understanding the divinity of this most sacred space. The Yoni (vulva/vagina) is the portal to all life, the gateway to all potential. But now I was venturing into an even deeper space. The Womb. The Womb IS life, IS all potential, and the more you connect to her the more you connect to the source of love. Which is precisely what happened to me.
Through meditation, practices, and techniques I was uncovering the stories and wounds that kept me from fully accepting myself. The womb holds memories of past trauma, even from our ancestors or past lives. As I opened my womb all of my “stuff” around worthiness and not being enough came to the surface. With the practices and tools I now had, it became easier to observe these thoughts without judging, and it became easier to love myself. It was 2 years of this self-inquiry. 2 years of clearing and connecting to my womb. 2 years of coming home to myself.
Unknowingly, I was also preparing for the greatest love of my life. I swear the night I met him I heard my womb say, “It’s him.” I replied, “That is a bold statement, are you sure??” I heard, “Yes.” There is no way I could have been ready for this level of partnership had I not come to love myself the way I did. And it’s a love that continues to expand.
You truly can have it all, and it starts from within.Try this: bring your hands into an upside down triangle over your womb (regardless of surgeries, you have a womb space!) Repeat: “I allow myself to be exactly as I am.” Do this for 2 full minutes.
Want to go deeper? Join us in April for Womb In Bloom ~ Spring Retreat.
Learn more about Jennifer and her work here: https://www.jenniferpolansky.ca/
Jennifer Polansky CNP